yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
COCAINE IS GR8
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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