Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
