fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Randomize
