if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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