I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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