Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
honey bunches of taint.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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