just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
