It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
