We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
