He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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