Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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