Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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