My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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