with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
