My sheets look like a crime scene.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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