sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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