I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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