He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
