Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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