He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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