her vagine was all disorganized.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
