It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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