New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Randomize
