This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
