On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
