I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
