I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
