i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Randomize
