How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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