well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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