i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
