If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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