I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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