Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
