Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
