guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
