a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
