i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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