Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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