how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
