the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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