I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize