does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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