and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wish I only lived at night.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
