I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so explain again why im purple
no
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
