Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
