Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
