Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
is wine microwaveable?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Randomize
