I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
