she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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