Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
