Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
