I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
