He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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