Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun