C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
