i was born a porn star she said
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
