how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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