No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
