i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
